JAMBLOG: Keep my mind on my money, money on my mind.

Games coming out in August

2010-07-27T22:26:00.000+01:00

I hate the dole

2010-04-21T03:15:00.000+01:00

Right, less of the writing gubbins, now it's time for a nice cathartic release.

I'm sick to death of the dole. I hate it and everything it represents. I hate being looked down by others for being on it. I hate having to rely on it going in regularly, praying I hear the motor whir at the ATM so I can empty my account in one meagre transaction. I hate not being able to afford anything. I hate all of the sacrifices I'm having to make week in, week out. I hate that despite being a graduate with a good degree I can't get menial office or shop work - I'm either overqualified or ill-experienced. I hate the companies that don't get back in touch with me. I hate how miserable it makes me. I hate having to pretend that everything's fine.

And now they have the gall to ask me to bring in proof I'm looking for work. Like I enjoy just scraping by instead of being able to afford things or going out or anything fun that I used to do?

Feature ~ Paint by Numbers: The Lightgun Game

2010-03-17T01:47:00.000Z

Ah, the light gun game. One of the last bastions of UK arcade gaming. If you’re out scoring some strikes at your local Megabowl you’ll inevitably see a small cabinet next to the pool and air hockey tables, conjuring memories of those old classics such as Time Crisis, Virtua Cop, et al. Why not have a play for nostalgia’s sake? But then it hits you: £2 to go on a game I’m blatantly not going to last more than 4 minutes on?! That’s 1.2p per every second spent playing! Are you having a laugh?!

1. Peripheral vision:
Okay, you’ve spotted a cabinet or picked up a game, but you’ll need to get accustomed to the controller. The most widely used home console gun is the G-Con series, created by Namco, and for the most part it’s pretty good - if a tad boring. For the real hardcore out there, you can find replica sniper rifles at all good online retailers (and some crap ones too). However, if that seems a bit too over the top for you, there are some other choices. The general consensus seems to suggest that the best way to play these games is with some wireless light guns (the Joytech Sharp Shooter series is pretty much gaming bliss in this field). If you’re feeling slightly frolicsome, you can purchase two of them and go through the two player co-op mode for some dual wielding fun. Sometimes, the gun you use to shoot with doesn’t represent the weapon you’re using in-game. It seems a common misconception that automatic handguns are capable of firing both grenades, flames and shotgun shells as well as your standard ammo. Some arcade cabinets will boast the holy grail of light guns: The recoiling assault rifle. This beaut’s got more kick than David Beckham had in the second round of the ’98 World Cup. Sometimes it’s worth the £2 just to feel the recoil against your shoulder.

2. The lead characters and the plot:
The lead characters are usually American CIA/SAS/FBI/random-abbreviation operatives who have been hired to save some kidnapped President’s daughter, fight off evil insurgents from neighbouring countries, or to kill the President’s daughter as she’s now working for the evil insurgents… or something along those lines. To be honest, you don’t play a light gun game for the stunning script, dialogue and cut scenes. Let’s be fair, the voice acting is usually a similar experience to hearing 5 year olds trying to read the long words from the Broadsheets and the characters have the charisma of a baked potato. The main protagonists are usually white males, mid to late 20s, and appear like they wouldn’t look out of place on the catwalk – certainly nothing like any special arms operatives I’ve ever seen.

3. Events in gameplay:
The scenery is pretty generic at best but when playing one of these games your attention is primarily on the enemies so you miss out on such stunning backdrops as forests, trains and the inevitable ship encounter (which predictably gets capsized making everything go awry), and your generic Hollywood-esque bridge explosion. The likelihood of fighting a boss in a helicopter or private jet (you never see a poor end of level boss, do you?) is very high and you can expect that once you dispose of them they’ll fall backwards (still shooting) and blow up their own vehicle. Silly sausages.

4. The enemies:
You’d think that a global enemy cartel would have stricter quality control when hiring goons, or that at least they’d give them a shooting range test - as they appear to be the worst shots in the world. They get less hits than Hanson's fansite, for God’s sake. For some baffling reason the ‘big boss’ decided somewhere along the line that they should colour code their thugs in order of how hard they are. A good - if slightly flawed - plan as it means you just bust a cap in the harder enemy’s head before moving on to the ones that camply leap out into the open in a ridiculously bright-coloured jumpsuit.

5. The unexpected…
As a rule of thumb in this genre, always expect the unexpected. Characters you thought you had killed have most likely been rebuilt (I’m looking at you Time Crisis 3) and some of the characters will show moments of unforeseen strength. For example, one enemy might tear off a gun turret and proceed to hurl it around like a baseball bat (again, I refer back to the Time Crisis series here).

Sometimes, the genre strays away from its traditional roots. Ninja Assault puts the player in control of a Ninja trying to rescue the kidnapped Princess from an evil Warlord (see, I told you the stories were all the same!). Now, you’d probably expect the light gun to be used to control a rudimentary crossbow or to throw shuriken or something like that. You’d be wrong. According to Capcom, Ninja wield pistols. Seriously. The less said about that the better, I feel.

***

It should be pointed out that Light Gun games provide a lot of fun and are a great source of fun in co-op so they are definitely worth a look. They’re like what the Bad Boys films are to the film industry; a trashy, unrelenting demonstration of explosions and headshots that does nothing to detract from the main action and for this they should perhaps be forgiven...

Retrospective Review: Black (PS2, Xbox)

2010-03-17T01:44:00.001Z

There are moments in Black where you can’t help but think of ‘Team America’. Just as in that film, Black exists in a world where the destruction of property and buildings - no matter how valuable, or impressive the architecture - is all fair game, so long as it’s done by crack US combat teams in the fight against terrorism. In the first level of Black alone, you’ll find yourself storming a museum, firing rocket-propelled-grenades at city towers, and generally instigating more explosions than Steven Seagal’s entire cinematic output can muster. Take the very first task in the game: Opening a door. In this game, your key is a 12 gauge.

You play Jack Keller, a ‘black-ops’ soldier, with a reputation of being something of a maverick, a rogue, a lone-wolf – you know the type; prone to disobeying direct orders if it means getting the job done (admittedly not the most original videogame character of all time.). The game’s background is introduced by way of flashing newspaper headlines and fuzzy footage from newsreels, whilst the characters and main story slowly reveal themselves through the ‘interrogation room’ cut-scenes that precede each mission; Keller puffing on a cigarette and gruffly recalling his recent exploits. It’s a somewhat minimalist approach, which works, and works brilliantly setting the atmosphere and scene for each mission.

The visuals alone are startlingly good, even by today’s standards and certainly rank up there as some of the best the PS2 ever achieved. The game world is wonderfully moody and atmospheric; some of its darker environments conveying a sense of dread, and the quality of the graphics - combined with the suitably orchestral score, and meaty sound effects - serve to pull you into the game far more than most comparable console FPSs of last generation. In the cities, you can almost feel the crunch of glass beneath your steel capped boots, and you can sense the eerie chill in the air when wandering through the haunting forest.

The game has other ingenious tricks for involving the player too. Most engaging of these is perhaps the effects that kick in when Jack is critically injured; you can feel your heartbeat pulsing through the game-pad, and the visuals blur and slow-down, the sound becoming muffled and it stays this way until you either manage to locate a first-aid kit, or, more likely, die. This is a First Person shooter that well and truly puts you, the player, in the ‘first-person’; doing its best to make you feel what the character feels, and to make you value his survival, and seek to protect him from harm. Sure more modern games do this, some do it better than in Black, but it’s nice to know where your roots are.

The levels are big, and less linear than many FPSs, meaning that there is some scope to explore, and ‘find your own path’, and the missions are relatively varied (although most equate, ultimately, to killing lots of people and blowing up lots of stuff as per genre convention). There are a range of primary and secondary objectives within each mission, though the amount of these you’re obliged to fulfil depends on which of the four difficultly settings you’ve settled for. Normal mode, for example, requires you to fulfil all primary objectives, and just a few secondary ones. And of course, as is the game’s selling point just about everything you’ll come across is destructible in some way; from buildings, to vehicles, to road-blocks, to tree-stumps - the world is yours to destroy at will (or cower behind). The weapons with which you get to wreak havoc with are really just standard, bland, typical FPS-fare; pistols, shotguns, machine-guns, rocket-launchers, etc, all of them subject to the usual advantages and limitations. No big surprises there then, although considering its ‘real-world’ setting, there wasn’t a huge amount of scope for letting imagination run wild in this area. Besides, they’re all very, very satisfying to use; the shotgun is just as powerful and reliable as you’d hope (always my weapon of choice), and there’s little so satisfying as perching atop a ledge and sending a rocket into an enemy base, then sitting back and watching the chain reaction of explosions.

Once you peel back the spot-on presentation, well-judged sense of involvement and decent level design, however, Black does have some shortcomings. Enemy AI isn’t awful, but it’s not nearly as well balanced as we’ve come to expect from the cream of contemporary shooters. I also feel some personal frustration with the cut-scenes that you CANNOT SKIP; each time you start a mission, you have no choice but to sit through them, which seems strange, considering how simple this would have been to resolve. It’s not an especially long game either; the seasoned gun-porn fanatic should have it wrapped up fairly swiftly and whilst the new objectives presented by higher difficulty settings offer some reason to replay, it’s unlikely that even the most devoted fan will trawl through the whole game more than two or three times. Which brings the biggest omission to the forefront: there’s no multiplayer mode. No frags or capturing flags. Considering how standard the multiplayer mode has become to the genre, it seems a shame that Black misses out, and whilst it’s sad that multiplayer doesn’t make an appearance, I feel that, overall, the game is better for it as the single player mode is so well made as a result of all the attention being placed on it.

Black offers one of the best FPS experiences available on a console; certainly the best on PS2. The visuals and audio are stunning, and the gameplay is pitched perfectly between strategic thinking and all-out, no-brains, balls to the wall action, providing an immensely satisfying all round experience, with no short supply of jaw-dropping moments. However, its modest length and absence of multiplayer options seriously compromise its longevity, and prevent it from reaching the status of classic.

Review | Uncharted: Drakes Fortune (PS3)

2010-02-03T15:17:00.001Z

I know I'm late to the party. This game came out in 2007 just after the PS3's launch in Europe. I'm excused for being late for two reasons; firstly, I only got my PS3 in 2008 and, secondly, the PS3's just a glorified blu-ray player, right? Wrong. Definitely wrong. And I'll tell you for why.

When you first load the game up the main thing that grabs your attention is the graphics. Everything is crisp, everything is clear and the backgrounds are gorgeous. A special mention has to go to the character models though, they truly are astounding. The developers have crammed the game disc with ten times more movement animations and 70-80 facial animations per character which when combined really enhance the game and succeeds in further drawing you into the game world.

So the game world looks real, but how does it sound? Pretty bloody good is how it sounds. The score is creepy when it needs to be, inquisitive when it wants to be, and downright dramatic the rest of the time. The music fulfils the objective of being atmospheric and adding a real sense of occasion to the playthrough. A huge shoutout has to go to the voice actors. Nolan North does a great job of depicting the cocksure treasure hunter Drake but also, with the excellent character models, can portray sorrow, concern, pain, anguish, elation, bereavement, and any other emotion you wish to name. Other honourable mentions go to Sully and Elena who give the game some depth and perspective alongside Drake.

The story is your typical treasure hunter scenario: Group A finds ancient clues that lead to treasure 1, group B steal it, group A get it back, both groups head towards the final destination where they inevitably cross paths and chaos ensues. It's all very National Treasure, but that's not to say it's not enjoyable. There's a bit of a twist around chapter 19 that left me feeling a tad bitter for being so predictable insomuch as it followed a typical videogame convention instead of sticking to what it was doing best, but the game soon explained itself and everything was forgiven. Well, nearly everything. The jetski sections are sure to haunt me for the rest of my life but thankfully they only occupy a minuscule amount of the overall game time.

"Aye, right, cheers Jambo but ye haven't told us aboot the game - ye've just gan an aboot facial animations and other bunkum." Alright! I'm getting there. I might even do it now. The game has a cover system - very similar to the Gears of War franchise's own - and it works great. Corners, boxes, fences, and bannisters provide excellent cover and the majority of it can be destroyed by a few bullets leaving you frantically scurrying around like fat kid who's misplaced his Freddo. The gunplay is also very satisfying with a nice range of pew-pews to choose from and they all feel crunchy and meaty.

The PS3 pad works very well with aiming and shooting being done with the L1 and R1 buttons. This is a great move as, quite frankly, the L2 and R2 buttons where these actions are conventionally mapped are rubbish on the DualShock3. The game also makes use of the SixAxis technology but thankfully it's few and far between. I don't say that because it's implemented poorly, I say that because motion control is a terrible, terrible idea that has only succeeded in saturating the games market with shovelware.

The game uses a few QTEs to advance the story but I feel these work very well within the context of the game. I know these can be controversial as a lot of gamers find them as a cheap way of forcing human interaction within a static scene, but I really enjoy them. So there!

All in all, Uncharted is an excellent game - worthy of any and all praise that is heaped at it, piling up by its feet. It's engrossing, encapsulating, atmospheric, delightful to look at and a pleasure to play. The game demands attention much the same way a Hollywood blockbuster does and it's certainly evident that films paid a huge part in the inspiration and design of the game so it comes as no surprise that an Uncharted film is currently being made. Games like this restore my faith in the PS3 as a console. Games like this restore my faith in videogames where bringing in a new IP is considered a costly risk. Games like this are why I play games in the first place. The promise of a second instalment - already out - fills me with joy. Uncharted is the first PS3 exclusive I've played and thought: "y'know what, this is actually really good" and for that it can be considered a rare treasure indeed.

9/10

Why Arnold Schwarzenegger is Brilliant

2009-10-28T02:43:00.000Z

Arnie has been no stranger to making a funny having appeared in several hilarious films including Christmas comedy classic Jingle All The Way. But now, the Terminator star is pulling pranks on a governmental scale. Obviously being bored of vetoing bills that don't fit in with his way of thinking, he's making his own fun in the form of this acrostic letter:

Now, if you missed that (or don't want to read the Wiki link), an acrostic form of writing is where, essentially, the first letters of each sentence spell out a word. A classic example of this is Ian Brown's seminal masterpiece F.E.A.R. So with this knowledge, re-read the letter paying close attention to the words spelled out by the first letters of each setence. Here's what is revealed:

When asked by the Bay Guardian, an American newspaper, if the message was intentional, Schwarzenegger’s spokesman said: “What a strange coincidence.” Brilliantly, the newspaper went on to state in their article that the spokesman was “clearly being sarcastic.”

The World Famous Travelling BBC Circus (Otherwise known as Question Time)

2009-10-23T12:23:00.004+01:00

Well, the historic edition of Question Time aired last night where, for the first time, the British National Party were allowed on to answer questions from the public. Anyone with half an ounce of intelligence could see this was not going to end well and this would be proved right when protests kicked off before the edition of the show was filmed. What followed was perhaps more shocking.

Yes, Griffin said some utterly baffling and stupid things (denying the holocaust and militant gays?) but there was an abhorrent air of hypocrisy on the show. They were more than happy to talk about freedom of speech when it came to the Jan Moir article being published in the Daily Fail but they never allowed Nick Griffin to get a word in edgeways without being jeered by members of the panel. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a supporter of the BNP and never will be - I feel it's important to highlight that I despise racism and racists - but when you invite someone onto a program and just berate them - rightly or wrongly - it's a laughable excuse of a debate. I was rather looking forward to hearing how Griffin defended the actions of the Party and its members but we never got to hear any of that as members of the audience were too busy thinking of "witty" names to shout at the head of the BNP (Dick Griffin... Really? The best you could come up with was that?).

Dimbleby never really had control throughout the show

Also, the other politicians (and Bonnie Greer - still don't know what a playwright was doing on a politics show...) were revelling in being, for once, the least hated people in the entire room, and were using it as a vehicle for berating the BNP. I wasn't after much, a sensible debate shouldn't have been much to hope for. Instead I feel let down by the circus freak show it became. Yes, the BNP's actions can be laughable at times but the fact of the matter is, whether we like it or not, the BNP is slowly becoming big bananas after their 'success' in the European Elections and we need to start taking them seriously as an extremist, but legal, party lest we end up vastly underestimating them.

Sweet Lord

2009-10-19T05:50:00.000+01:00

Html can be a real pain, can't it? Trying to get everything to look right. Annoying. It can stay as it is. Making a two column layout a three column one was awkward enough considering the restrictions but I'm having so much trouble trying to sort out the fragging image header.

Day 21: Days Of Our Lives

2009-10-06T03:05:00.006+01:00

Okay, I've got seven days to catch up on here so here we go:

Angels and Day-mons
TallaDAYga Nights
DAYzed and Confused
Training Day
Groundhog Day
The Day After Tomorrow

There we go, that should cover all of the 'Day' puns I've missed so far.

Not much to report, to be honest. I've been popping in and out of Chicago haphazardly on little shopping trips and the lark and just exploring new parts of the city.

I went to the museum today - because it was free - but left unimpressed. Maybe it's the lack of variety there or maybe it's because I was just wandering around a museum by myself but either way it wasn't great. I nipped into Gamestop today too and picked up Scribblenauts and Katamari Forever for the DS and PS3 respectively. Scribblenauts seems alright from the initial 20 minutes of tutorials but the DS needed charging so a full opinion will have to wait.

Drank almost a litre of Monster energy drink. The can made me chuckle with a little Doom reference, the can being referred to as the BFC: Big 'Effin Can. =D

I was going to go to the Skydeck today but stupidly I left my camera behind so I'll have to go another day. It's a shame because it was a really nice day and the view would've been ace.

Seven days till I come back now. Will try and update this more often.

Jambo out.

Day 14: Day of the Triffids

2009-09-29T02:40:00.003+01:00

An action packed day of searching for and booking out hotels. After worrying about my budget yesterday I planned it all out today and if I can get BA to move my flight forward by a couple of weeks I'll be as good as gold with nothing to worry about. The itinerary has been written in ink and for the most part is set in stone. As it stands, here is what my journey will look like in the end:

Newcastle > London > Chicago > Washington DC > San Francisco > Los Angeles > Toronto > New York City > Chicago > London > Newcastle

I'm now far more optimistic about the rest of the trip and am looking forward to seeing new places. Tomorrow I will spend booking flights and train trips and if there's time I'll head into Chicago. If not, it gives me something to do on Wednesday.

Jambo out.

Day 13: Day-ed, Where's My Car?

2009-09-28T00:28:00.002+01:00

Hmm... Strange day today. I've done a lot of thinking and brainstorming with my family and come to some conclusions. I need to start planning stuff for the rest of the holiday. After trying to find a hotel in Washington DC and having to settle for somewhere out in the sticks again I've decided I'd be better off staying in a Hostel as it's going to be a lot cheaper and will give me a more central location. However, the hostels are understandably booked for the next two weeks so what it looks like I'm going to have to do is to book the hostel when it's next available and then try and book something somewhere else in the interim. I've made a list of places I want to visit while I'm over here so hopefully I'll be able to get everything booked.

Also contemplating cutting the trip down by 2-3 weeks and leaving straight after New York as I kinda get the feeling I'd otherwise just spend time in the hotel room/hostel sitting around which I don't want to do. Instead I'd pack as much stuff as possible into a shorter trip which I think is the best way to go about it.

Off to the History Museum tomorrow so I'll mull over the options again and make final decisions/arrangements on Tuesday.

Jambo out.

Day 12: Day Another Day

2009-09-27T02:13:00.003+01:00

Well, another day in quiet Illinois. I've started feeling better after what I believe may have been a touch of food poisoning. Had a nice big, hearty meal to celebrate before having a nice chat with Ahsan (Happy Birthday for yesterday, by the way) on iChat. Newcastle United ended up winning again which was nice - we're now two points clear at the top of the league thanks to a hatrick from Kevin Nolan and a rather nice freekick from Ryan Taylor. =D

Since I was feeling better I went grocery shopping and picked up some supplies including some cereal and some milk. Normally this wouldn't be blog-worthy; however, the aforementioned cereal is none other than Lucky Charms! They used to sell Lucky Charms in Britain but for some reason they stopped. I haven't had them in years so I'm hoping they taste as good as 10-year old me tells me they were.

One final quiet day in tomorrow I think - just to make sure I'm feeling fine - then the hustle and bustle of getting everything I want to do done before I leave. There's not too much left on that list though so it shoudln't be too bad.

Jambo out.

Day 11: The Living Day-lights

2009-09-26T01:38:00.004+01:00

...

Anyway, it's been heaving it down in Illinois today and with me not feeling very well at all I decided it was best if I stayed in and got some rest. I finally had a shave so I'm no longer rocking the hobo-chic and have spent the day listening to music and reading. Housekeeping was meant to be done today but I think I slept through their attempts to get in.

I had a Skype chat with the family - it was nice to see Basil and Sooty again - and through that managed to find where I want to stay in Washington DC. The hotel is situated in Chinatown and it's meant to be walking distance away from most things of importance which is a huge plus for me. Come to think of it, how come Chinatown is a town? There's no mayor... It's more like a novelty street... Regardless, it's more expensive than it is where I'm currently staying but it'll definitely be worth paying that little bit extra to be more involved with the city and what it has to offer.

I'm not sure what I've got planned for the weekend. If I'm still unwell I probably won't stray too far. I'll probably just get stuff sorted out for the DC leg of the trip and see about going up the Willis Tower Skydeck.

Jambo out.

Day 10: Live And Let Day

2009-09-25T02:36:00.003+01:00

Well, I partially did today what I planned to do. I got up a little later than expected to caught the 11:52 train into Chicago. I was going to get a bus to Michigan Avenue (a.k.a the Magnificent Mile) but eventually decided on walking the distance and saving a few dollars. After about 20-25 minutes of walking I ended up on one of the most impressive shopping locations I've ever seen. Massive Malls everywhere and loads of designer places. I definitely felt like an outcast in my jeans and t-shirt with a cumulative price of ~£15. I felt like splashing some cash and, considering everything in the States is almost certainly considerably cheaper than in ol' Blighty, this was the place to do it. I wandered down the street for a fair amount of time before stumbling across the Apple shop. I say shop, it was in fact more of a classroom dedicated to teaching those uninitiated with Macs and iPods how to navigate the interfaces. But there was a shop tacked on at the end so I walked out with an Apple Remote meaning I can control music and DVDs from a distance now which is nice.

After this I wandered further north and found Macy's, a massive designer department store with eight levels! The sunglasses I'd taken with me had been warped by the heat so I needed a new pair so I bought a nice pair of Ray Ban aviators for considerably less than I would have paid back in the UK. Right across from the sunglasses hut was a watch stand selling designer watches. I've been a little worried about the lovely, lovely watch I brought with me as I'm always paranoid that it's going to get stolen or damaged in some way and it means so much to me that I ended up buying a watch that I wouldn't mind if it got nicked or damaged seeing as it has far less sentimental value. Straight across the road from Macy's was a Borders book shop so I popped in and grabbed a new book (Kathy Reichs; 'Bones to Ashes' if you must know). I carried on walking till the shops finished then walked all the way back down which took ages so when I looked at the time it was getting late so I walked back to the station (picking up a shaver on the way) and got on the train back to the hotel. Here's a snap of the stuff I bought:

After checking the Chicago History Museum's website it's a good thing I didn't go today as it's free to enter on Mondays. So, that's Monday sorted!

Jambo out.

Day 9: Dawn of the Day-ed

2009-09-23T21:58:00.004+01:00

Urgh... Feeling most unwell after the 'delights' of the Baconator. It's been so bad it's forced me indoors on what has turned out to be a rather nice day. In my current state of being, movement is a no-go at the minute so I'm hoping I'm better in a few hours as I need to get some groceries in. The fresh air will probably do me good as well. So, I've decided to leave Illinois a week earlier than anticipated and head to a new destination. I was torn between Boston and Washington DC so I left it up to Lady Luck:

[There was going to be a video here but the Internet connection is so unbelievably lame that it can't upload a puny 10MB video file so here's a description of what happened: I shuffled a deck of cards thoroughly then cut the deck. If the card I chose was red I'd go to Boston, if the card was black I'd go to Washington DC. I ended up picking the 5 of Clubs.]

So, Washington DC it is! I can't wait! I've been doing a lot of reading of stuff to do and if I stay for a week and a bit I think I'm going to be busy every minute of every day! There just seems like so much stuff to do! Definitely going to try and get a hotel right in the middle this time. I've got just under two weeks left here though so I'm going to get train tickets sorted out, a hotel booked, and then visit the few remaining places I want to check out in Chicago before heading off to a new State. =D

I've got to be feeling better by tomorrow morning though - I've got an action packed day planned involving a trip to the big shopping areas, a bite to eat, a museum visit and then a wander around Itasca before making it back to the hotel.

Day 8: Shaun of the Day-ed

2009-09-23T00:57:00.005+01:00

Strange weather again today - it couldn't decide whether it was going to rain or be sunny so it did both, but mostly it rained. After a nice Skype chat with the family I got showered, settled the bill at the front desk, and went for a walk in the rain. It quickly dried up after 5 minutes or so. On the way back I stopped by Wendy's and, wanting to sample a true taste of American culture, ordered the highly anticipated Baconator burger with fries and a Coke:

It was good. An epic burger to live up to an epic name. The square burgers took a bit of getting used to but the hickory smoked bacon was delicious. One thing I have noticed during my stay here is that Coke taste different - worse in fact. After doing a bit of reading on the 'Net I found out it's because in most places in the World they use pure cane sugar in Coke but in the US they use the fructose corn syrup. Definitely not a good thing. Think I'll be sticking to Mountain Dew or plain ol' orange juice in the future.

I had a chat with the people at the front desk and it turns out I can cut short my stay here by a week if I so wish - something I'm incredibly tempted to do as, in hindsight, a month is probably too long to stay in one place. Been pricing up train tickets to a bunch of different places so I'll make a decision on where to go next shortly.

Jambo out.

Day 7: Day Another Day

2009-09-22T01:38:00.004+01:00

Another quiet day in Itasca, Il. I'm actually enjoying a little bit of quiet time. It's so serene out here in the sticks that it gives you time to contemplate and prioritise. I've been spending a lot of time reading and planning things to do in future cities I'll be staying in. It has also given me time to heal and I can safely say that I'm 100% now. I went out before to the grocery shop and picked up a couple of cartons of microwaveable Campbell's soup and some Coke. Was going to go for the Baconator but I fear it has intimidated me once more. The weather looks pretty interesting for the next few days:

I'm going to try and get into Chicago providing the trains are still working. That's it for now.

Jambo out.

Day 6: Return of the Jed-Day

2009-09-20T22:55:00.004+01:00

C'mon, you've gotta give me that one. It's getting harder and harder to think of appropriate film titles.

Massive shout-out to my brother-in-law Iain for doing the Great North Run today. He raised a lot of money for charity. I'll buy you a beer for your efforts when I get back.

Anyway, my feet were still killing me when I woke up so any plans of walking for any conceivable amount of time were thrown out the window in favour of another comfy day in the hotel room. I've exhausted my supply of Mountain Dew so will have to pick some up tomorrow on the way back from Chicago. I'm considering a trip to the Magnificent Mile tomorrow as I desperately need a pair of shorts and a shaver and it's somewhere interesting I haven't been yet.

I think I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting something to eat (the Baconator from Wendy's sounds pretty good!!) and then browsing the 'Net and my travel guide for places I need to visit while I'm here.

Looking ahead to Tuesday, I think I'll explore the parts of Itasca that I keep threatening to and find a local watering hole. In other news, I finally won a game of Patience! Grated, it's a one player game, but I didn't have to cheat this time! Majorly chuffed with that.

Jambo out.

Day 5: ...

2009-09-19T21:03:00.002+01:00

Absolutely shattered from the massive trek yesterday and my legs and feet can barely keep me upright let alone transport me anywhere so I've decided to take at least today and maybe tomorrow off and just have some recovery time in the hotel and around Itasca itself if I can muster the energy to go out. Next week I want to check out the Chicago History Museum and the Magnificent Mile - I may need to invest in a pair of shorts (it's so warm out here!). I think there's a Chicago Fire match on the 26th so I'll look into getting to that. Had another really nice Skype chat with my family sans Dad who had gone out fishing. Going to go and fall asleep or watch a DVD or something - too tired and warm to do anything productive other than write this (and yesterday's) update.

Jambo out.

Day 4: Live Free or Day Hard

2009-09-19T19:58:00.007+01:00

I'm aware I didn't post an update last night but to be honest by the time I'd eventually made my way back from Chicago I was too knackered to post anything. I ended up falling asleep watching Anchorman. So, here's yesterday's blog:

Woke up early again and checked my emails and double checked my route before setting off for Medinha Metra station at 10am. I got there with about 5 minutes to spare. Today I was getting off at Grand/Cicero - a stop I hadn't been to before - and catching the number 73 bus from Grand/Cicero to N Clark St which is right next to Lincoln Park Zoo. That was the plan, but unfortunately things didn't work out that way. I spent about 10 minutes trying to find the no. 73 bus stop but to no avail. I had to ask someone for help and they suggested getting the no. 72 which also went to Clark St but was a bit further away from the Zoo. The bus stop was just at the end of the road so I took his advice and caught the number 72. Now, differences between US and UK buses. In the US, the drivers don't have any change on them so if you don't have the right change then you've got to pay extra. Also, the driver doesn't give you a ticket. I'd like to add that the drivers in the UK are far more understanding and helpful and a lot less arrogant. So after standing around for a few seconds waiting for a ticket or some change I was told to "sit my ass down".

While I was minding my own business, looking out of the window for the names of the stops, I had my first encounter with a crazy guy. He came on and sat next to me and started having an argument about Jesus and Muslims with the two ladies opposite me before trying to drag me into it. I just sat there and nodded. The guy had really crazy eyes - like the character in Adam Sandler's Little Nicky when his bag gets stolen - and I wasn't going to disagree with him. He ranted extensively about how the woman infront of him thought he was crazy, about religion, and about racism before eventually getting off the bus and leaving me in peace.

So, I arrive at N Clark St and follow the road up to N Avenue Beach as I remembered from Google Maps that the Zoo wasn't far away from there. The beach is stunning - there's a really nice juxtaposition between work and play with the beach in the foreground and the looming skyscrapers dominating the skyline in the background.

I stopped at the top of the beach and had a sit down and a drink under the shade by a tree. I must've sat there for about 20 minutes but it's another place, like Buckingham Fountain, that is in my favourite bits of Chicago so far. Just so laid back and a great atmosphere. So, after that little sit down I made my way to Lincoln Park Zoo. LPZ prides itself on being on of the few remaining free Zoos in the World and, despite the lack of income from punters, it didn't disappoint! I arrived just in time to make it to the Seal feeding which was pretty cool - it also taught me the difference between a Seal and a Sea Lion! Here are some photos I took of the animals:

After the zoo I'd planned to walk to the Magnificent Mile and then from there to Adams St where the train leaves from Union Station. However, after leaving the Zoo I didn't know which road I was on so I remembered from Google Maps that if I followed the beach down Lake Shore Drive I could get to Michigan Ave and back on route. The walk down Lake Shore Drive was lovely but the sun made me desperate for a drink and I was unfortunately out of juice. I tried following a sign for Michigan Ave but gave up and instead walked the entire length of La Salle St. I naturally stopped off at the nearest shop to get myself a massive bottle of water. The walk back took about two hours in total and totally wiped me out and made my sore feet even worse. So I make a right onto Adams St and get on the train back to Medinha. The walk from Medinha to the hotel was arguably the most agonizing 40 minutes of my life as my legs and feet were just seizing up with every step. Still, I made it to the 7-11 to grab some Mountain Dew then headed back to the hotel room. That about sums up Day 4.

Jambo out.

Day 3: Day Hard with a Vengeance

2009-09-18T01:52:00.006+01:00

Today I got up very promptly after a cool early night being soothed to sleep by the sound of the air con (a complete God send) with the intention of getting to Itasca Metra station by 10:52 in time for the train. However, I got distracted by a book and by the time I'd got out of the shower and was dressed it was already past 10:52, so I decided I'd stay in a bit longer and suss some info out. Last night as I was browsing the net trying to plan today I found a potentially nearer Metra Station on Medinha Road so I figured I'd find the route on Google Maps, take a photo of it to refer to, and set off to try and catch the next train which was at 11:52. Along the way I saw this fella:

Anyway, the distance between Medinha and Union Station is pretty much the same distance between Newcastle and Sunderland so I was used to this sort of train ride. Nothing to note really other than you pay for your ticket once you're on the carriage (but if there was a ticket agent at the station you have to pay an additional $2) and there's loads of leg room. The seats were leather and were pretty comfy. Also, the train had two floors! Awesome!

So, I made it to Chicago's Union Station unscathed (other than bumping my head as I stood up to leave). I figured seeing as I didn't know where I was going that I would head right and see what I stumbled across. Incidently what I did stumble across was alot of very tall buildings and a lot of restaurants. After about 20 minutes of ambling, I find a Staples and head in as I needed a notebook and pen so I could jot down directions so I wouldn't get lost again... Notebook - check. Pen - Hang on? Where're the pens? Unless you're after chunky permanent markers or multi-packs of mechanical pencils then Staple's is not the right place for you! I headed into the next 7-11 I found and bought some orange juice as the heat was making me crazy with thirst. After a bit more walking I find the Chicago Institute of Art and the stroll alongside it took me right next to a rather nice looking park. A further investigation revealed that I was right next to Buckingham Fountain so I thought I'd pop by and see what was what:

It took me a pretty long time to get back to Union Station but after asking a couple of the locals made my way back okay - my internal sat-nav instinctively taking me in the right direction but requiring confirmation along the way. So, I hop back on the Metra to Medinha after some 4 hours of ad-hoc exploration in Chicago. I've been doing a lot of walking recently and I can't see me stopping any time soon. I'll be fit as a fiddle in no time! Anyway, that's all for now - my feet are killing me so I'm going for a lie down and a read.

Jambo out.

Day 2: Day Harder

2009-09-16T21:41:00.006+01:00

Well, I was still feeling a bit jet-lagged so I had another incredibly lazy day starting with a shower and following with me sitting infront of the laptop listening to music and trying to sort out directions and locations on Google Maps with some sense of success. At midday (my time, 6pm UK time) I'd arranged to have a Skype chat with my parents, sister and brother-in-law. It was great seeing and hearing from them - never thought I'd have a use for a webcam but it's really going to help stop me feeling homesick over the course of the next 87 days. Anyway, we chatted for about 30 minutes as I gave them a tour of the hotel room and talked about the weather and how everyone was doing. After that I spent a further 30 minutes confirming where things were on Google Maps and looking at train times before deciding I was too tired to actually head into Chicago itself today so instead I thought I'd go for a walk and check out the local surroundings.

First thing I noticed after leaving the hotel was that there are no pavements, just road, so if you want to walk somewhere you have to walk right alongside the cars! I kept as close to the side as possible, hopping onto grass where available to keep me as far away from the cars as possible. Another thing I noticed is that no-one here walks anywhere. Over an hour of walking I saw maybe one person who wasn't in a car and even then they were walking from a shop into their car! Second thing I notice is that there are zero pedestrian crossings. So, I start my walk away from the way I came into Itasca just to see what's on the other side. I found the nearest 7-11 which will sort out all of my 24 hour Cola needs and I decided to carry on further up to see what was there and because it was a nice day I fancied the walk.

Itasca doesn't really have much in the way of... Well, anything really. The bars and shops are all right next to the Metra station so once I make my way there I should be sorted though it is an estimated 35 minute walk from the Hotel. Anyway, I carry on walking up until I find the train tracks that cut right through the centre of Itasca and I know from looking on Google Maps that to get the Metra station I just need to follow the tracks left. So I head back and take a left down this nice looking road mainly because it had a load of trees and it was boiling hot so the shade looked enticing. A red squirrel ran right out infront of me and right behind it was a duck hopping after it. I wish I'd remembered to take my camera as that was a Kodak moment if I ever saw one. I turned round once I realised the road didn't lead anywhere exciting and saw a group of ducks hanging out under a tree, slowly hopping in a circle around it. Was pretty weird but awesome all the same.

So I head back to the hotel - stopping at 7/11 on the way for supplies - then get back into the room and shove stuff in the fridge. I don't think I'll be heading out anywhere tonight other than maybe to Wendy's to get something to eat tonight. Instead I think I'll get myself stuck into the manual for my digital camera so I can take lots of pictures tomorrow then later on I'll settle down with a film before getting to bed early. Got a busy day in Chicago tomorrow!

Jambo out.

Day 1: Arrival

2009-09-16T04:51:00.005+01:00

Whoa. That was a looong flight. I mean, I knew it'd be long, but at times it felt like the clock was going backwards. A few times I dozed off and awoke to find the estimated time had increased!

Got into Chicago O'Hare at roughly 8:15pm and made my way through to border control/customs and immigration, etc. One guy at the airport got quite rudely grabbed by the shoulder and shoved at the back of the line for no reason whatsoever so I made sure I was on my best behaviour. The queue went by quick enough and eventually I saw one of the officers and they asked me the usual questions (how long you here? Where are you going? How much money did you bring? etc...).

Just as I made it to the carousel my luggage swung by which was a stroke of good fortune so with that in tow I made my way to the Taxi rank. Due to the late time I had to pay 1.5x the normal rate. In the end it cost me $60 to get to the Hotel but it's better than having to try and make my own way there.

Anyway, got into the Hotel and got the key to the room. It's a nice big room with a nice big bed. Nothing spectacular but perfectly good enough for a base of operations. The Internet is pretty fast too so I can update with ease. Anyway, it's been far too long a day to carry on without sleep so I bid you adieu.

Jambo out.

BLAST OFF!

2009-09-14T15:00:00.002+01:00

It's up to the stars we go!
And leave behind everything I used to know.

Less than a day then I'm on my way to America! This is probably my last post here until I touch down in Illinois and get to the Hotel.

One week till lift off!

2009-09-08T04:28:00.003+01:00

Well, after months [read: days...] of planning I've finally got tickets booked and a Hotel sorted for the first month of my 3 month stint in America. I'm staying in a seemingly quiet little place called Itasca, Illinois which is a short train ride away from the centre of Chicago. Feeling very excited - maybe a little bit nervous - but I'm definitely looking forward to it! I'm currently making final preparations such as getting GPD changed into USD, getting a digital camera/camcorder and getting stuff ready to be packed; I think I'll be travelling lightly though to avoid loads of luggage...

I know I've neglected this blog a little bit over the last couple of months but this will be the main hub of my Stateside Adventure so it will be updated a lot more often in the coming months with photos, videos, and comments. I'm very much looking forward to the trip and I hope you are looking forward to reading/seeing/hearing about it.

Jambo out.

Colour Separation

2009-06-16T21:36:00.003+01:00

I've been having a play around with Photoshop for the last couple of days - just trying to get my skills back and learn some new stuff along the way. I did some work experience in a graphic design place and loved it and it's never been away from my life since then.

Anyway, I was playing around with colour separation techniques and I thought I'd share the results here.

Passport Shmassport

2009-06-16T21:26:00.003+01:00

So, today I've been trying to sort out some of the things I need in order to go to America and various other places over the next year. I figured I'd start with trying to sort out extending my overdraft. Pro tip: If you're planning on doing this, make sure you don't have a big sum of money sitting in the account. Cue lots of:

"Erm... Why don't you just dig into that fund?"

Because that's all been accounted for in my planning for this trip!!

Needless to say, I didn't get my overdraft extended; instead, I'm left with the paltry £200 I've had for the last three bloody years. Ho-hum. I'm selling my car for more than I thought so it kinda balances out...

Next, I sorted out the application form for my first adult passport. Everything went swimmingly but I need to get some photographs tomorrow then see if my flatmate's Dad will countersign the form and one of the photos for me. Don't see why he shouldn't.

Also, my sunglasses arrived today but I'm not sure if I like them or not.

Definitely something wrong about them... Regardless, I saw a place in the Metro Centre that does two pairs for £15 so I'll give that a check out. A pair of aviators and something different might be in order I reckon.

Jambo out.

Wheeee!

2009-06-13T14:58:00.003+01:00

Greetings and salutations all. Very busy at the moment! Me and my friend Steve are trying to get a radio show over the Summer so we're working hard on that front and I'm also doing a couple of web designs for a couple of clients. I'd love to take on more work - I could sure as Hell use the money - but at the moment it's just not looking feasible. I'm trying to budget for this impending World Tour but there's a part of me that just wants to say: "Screw it! Just wing it!". It'll certainly make it even more exciting!

Going to see the bank people on Monday to try and get more of my overdraft so I can pay rent and bills. They've got to pity a graduate - especially in this economic climate...

Jambo out.

Crikey Moses

2009-06-05T21:56:00.008+01:00

I'm absolutely jiggered. It has been absolutely fantastic to see that everyone who has watched the documentary has found it both informative and entertaining. Anyway, as someone very intelligent once said:

The past is history, the future a mystery, but today is a gift - that's why we call it the present.

So, no more looking back on past achievements. I'm looking to do another documentary over the Summer. It may not be as ambitious as The Future of News but it will be a way of keeping myself both busy and out of trouble as I wait for September to roll around for my journey of America. They say it's best to write about what you know so that narrows my expertise down to football, action films, and videogames. I'm looking into buying a digital camcorder without spending any more than £220, which is proving quite difficult as it must also have a microphone port so I can use an external mic. These are just minor problems though and as soon as I get started on it I'll keep everyone up to date.

The last couple of days have been absolute bliss! The weather has been mostly alright and I've just been able to take a step back and unwind after a very, very stressful six months. I've been able to go back to my first love - videogames. This arrived in the post which I am very much looking forward to starting:

I've never played a Star Ocean game before but seeing as this is a prequel I doubt it will have any impact at all on my overall enjoyment of the game.

I also sat down today and read the latest instalment of Rob Kirkman's seminal Zombie thriller The Walking Dead. As always, the volume ended on a huge cliffhanger and I'm eager to see what happens to Rick and his ragtag crew of survivors.

You may have noticed a couple of slight changes to this blog. I've put a search bar and a little Twitter widget so there's more synergy between my blog and my Twitter page. I would hate people to miss out on what I was having for lunch. Anyway, I'm off to enjoy a pizza, take aim at some people on Call of Duty 4, and to just enjoy being able to relax.

Jambo out.

The Future of News

2009-06-05T02:30:00.006+01:00

Well, first things first. The documentary on the future of the news industry (cleverly titled The Future of News) was finally completed yesterday. I'm sorry I've taken so long to get the link up but after 4 months of solid work I felt I deserved a little break. Nevertheless, here is the link to the website (designed by myself).

The Future of News

You can watch the full documentary under the "watch" section of the website.

Let me know what you think! We've been working on this since February so I'm pleased to finally see the finished piece in all of its glory. Those who have seen it already have been complimentary which has made me feel good.

Jambo out.

A New Dawn

2009-06-02T22:52:00.004+01:00

Well, tonight I start (and hopefully finish) my last ever essay for academic purposes - that is unless of course I apply for a Masters degree in 2011! It's a strange feeling knowing that tomorrow is my final day of University. As I said in an earlier blog post, I've met a lot of cool people and it will be sad to see them go; however, it is an exciting period of my life and I am anxiously looking beyond tomorrow and towards the good times: My trip to Wales in July, my tour of America and the rest of the world, my eventual return, my next bout of education and then hopefully entering the world of work ideally doing something I really enjoy. There is nothing that frightens me more than the thought of being stuck in a job I detested with no real prospects or excitement in my life.

In other news, the documentary is coming along really nicely and the finished piece is being converted as we speak in one of the editing booths at the St Peter's Campus. The website I've been working really hard on goes live tomorrow so I'll be sure to post the link up on here and I'd really appreciate it if you would click it, watch the documentary, and leave your views here. I've got a rough copy of the documentary on my Macbook and I've been having a watch every now and then. I cannot explain how proud I am of this production! I will say though, as much as I am proud of it, I am starting to get a bit sick of the sight of it. It has been a real labour of love. Blood, sweat and tears went into this thing (I damaged my ankle ligaments again during the promotional photoshoot) and I honestly believe it has paid off. If the opportunity comes my way, I would love to get the chance to make another documentary - though maybe with a bigger team so the workload could be shared more!

Anyway, I've got 2,000 words to write for my critical evaluation (this has been a good warm up, I suppose) so I'm going to get to work on that.

Jambo out.

Website woe

2009-05-30T01:13:00.006+01:00

A lot of you will know (especially if you've been reading this blog) that I'm working on a documentary on the concept of the future of the news industry. Well, the good news is that filming has officially ended and we are in the final days of editing. As part of the design brief, we have to make an accompanying website to compliment what is presented in the documentary. The job of designing the website and sorting out the content is in the hands of myself and the presenter on the documentary. I'm acting as the code monkey - frantically punching html code as fast as I can and creating the graphics - while the presenter works on the content. It promises to be something very special indeed with behind the scenes footage, clips of the full interviews, cool shots we took but couldn't put in, and loads of funny mishaps. I'll let you guys know when it is finished. It's going to be a lot of work as the deadline is on Wednesday but all of us involved are very proud of what we have created and are looking forward to hearing what you guys think of it too.

[just a little edit to say I've finally fixed the problem I was having with the 'About Me' section on the menu bar on the right. A quick fiddle around with some html editing sorted everything out. Much love.]

Jambo out.

Fizzy Pop League

2009-05-24T18:32:00.002+01:00

Well, today marked the end of Newcastle United's 16 year stint in the top tier of English football. To be honest, I'm extremely glad to see the back of this campaign - a season that has seen five different managerial set-ups, fans staging full-scale protests outside of SJP demanding that Mike Ashley and Dennis Wise kindly **** off, a heart attack rendering our interim manager useless, players being sold behind Kevin Keegan's back, all the money being spent on expensive foreign kids who didn't even get a run out for the first team, and players who are too old picking up their last big pay packet before they quietly fade out of people's memories.

This has arguably been the worst day of my Toon supporting life. It wasn't so much the fact that we got relegated, Hell, we deserved it after the way we 'contested' the other 37 games this season, no, it's the fact that the players genuinely didn't look like they gave a **** whether we stayed up or not. Quite frankly there's too much dead wood at this club. It's like these surplus players and the board are a parasite on the club, slowly draining away money and support, driving fans away with their blood-sucking actions. I honestly can't say I've despised anyone involved with Newcastle United as much as I hate Mike Ashley. His decisions have single-handedly cost us our place in the English elite. Now we have to endure the humiliation of relegation, the demoralisation of seeing "top clubs" such as Hull, Wolves, and Birmingham circle our club like the vultures they are and pick off players we need to guarantee a speedy return. They're welcoem to players like Owen, Geremi, Caçapa, Smith, Ameobi, and Coloccini - they can on frees for all I care. But losing players like Martins. Jonas. Steven Taylor. Bassong. Beye. These are players who really busted a gut for the club. These are the players I feel for.

I'm hoping Alan Shearer stays on - he will take no **** from Ashley and will motivate the players a whole load more than Kinnear or Hughton ever could. I hope we can keep a few of our players such as Guthrie, Enrique, Carroll - youngsters who still have a lot to learn but give it their all each game.

Oh well. Here are the important bits of 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. If everyone involved in Newcastle United can keep these words in mind for the next year, I think we'll do alright.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

At least we'll have a chance of winning something next year...

The final hour

2009-05-23T17:07:00.004+01:00

As some of you may know, I'm in my final year at University. My dissertation is basically a practical project in the form of a 30 minute documentary with a little written critical evaluation tagged on at the end. I've been working on this project since January, having pitched the initial idea in December, and I'm constantly amazed at how much progress the team and I have made over the last few months. There are only 10-11 days left of University and we are halfway through the editing process and, without meaning to blow my own trumpet, it is looking really professional. All three of us in the team have put a lot of time, effort, and money from our own pocket into this project and we are confident that the final piece will be strong enough to get us a job in documentary film making should that be a path we wish to pursuit.

The last three years have been fun. I've met a lot of cool people, done stuff I'd never done before, and been more independent than I've ever been in my life learning how to manage budgets (for two months I lived off £1 a day) and look after myself. I'm not looking at the end of University as the end of an era, if anything it is just the beginning. I'm going to travel the world for a year starting in September which I am really looking forward to and will chronicle in this blog and on Twitter. I'm going to do a Masters degree when I come back (probably at one of the three local Universities) and then after that I'll be let loose into the real world. Although a chapter is coming to an end, all that's really been revealed are the minor details, the crux of the story is yet to unfold and there are many, many pages ahead of me full of discovery and wonder. This is my book, and I'm determined to make it a bestseller.

Jambo out.

On the cusp

2009-05-23T00:04:00.004+01:00

Well, this weekend signals the end of the 2008/9 Premier League campaign and could also signal the end of Newcastle United's thrill-a-minute 16 year tenure in the top flight of English football. Now, I'm a Geordie through and through - if you cut me I'll bleed black and white (I should really see a doctor about that...) - so naturally it would devastate me if the Mags were to be relegated this Sunday. However... It could also be a blessing in disguise. I no longer dread the ultimate day, I look forward to it. Either the club stay up another year and make big money changes or we drop down to a league where we have an excellent chance of bouncing straight back up and the opportunity to get rid of some of the dead wood clogging up resources.

Now, all three of the North East clubs are facing relegation. With Middlesbrough all but gone, it is up to Newcastle and Sunderland to scrap it out for local bragging rights. It is strange to see a club that 10 years ago was finishing consistently in the top 5 each year and putting on spectacular European shows in the UEFA Cup and Champions League now on the brink of relegation.

The last few seasons since the departure of Sir Bobby Robson have been miserable. Nobody has come in and motivated the players quite like he did until just recently with the appointment of Alan Shearer. There have also been far too many managerial shake-ups and off the field distractions - it would be an understatement to say that Newcastle have become a bit of a joke club to many outside observers. But for those of us who follow the club, who live and breathe every minute of it, it is far from a joke. If things stay as they currently are, with Shearer in charge, the much maligned continental management system sidelined, and the players playing with a bit of self-belief, I've got every reason to believe that the future of NUFC isn't looking too bad at all, regardless of whether we go down this Sunday or not. No matter what the result, fans will always pack the stadium, fans will always cheer their team, and the sea of black and white shirts will be flowing as hard as ever before.

I'll leave you now with an exert my favourite poem - Rudyard Kipling's seminal 'If' - which I feel sums up the situation quite nicely:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

Jambo out.

The Future of News

2009-05-22T03:07:00.003+01:00

This is a class project I'm working on. I've never done a title sequence before but figured I'd give it a go. Opinions sought.

A gun made of bacon?

2009-05-20T16:04:00.004+01:00

The perfect weapon for a hambush.

Jambo out.

Rhythym

2009-05-16T12:48:00.001+01:00

Ooooh, keep it steady
Yeah, that's it, keep it up, hon
Keep up the rhythm.

Swing with your hips, hon
Put your legs there, yeah, like that
Keep up the rhythm.

Use your arms, baby
Hold on tight and don't let go
Keep up the rhythm.

Push harder, baby
In then out, yeah, in and out
Now jump off the swing.

***

Just a little poem for any readers of this blog.

Hatton vs Pacquiao

2009-05-03T12:56:00.003+01:00

Now, I don't mean to brag, but that's what I'm gonna do so I'm just gonna cut to the chase:

I told you! I knew Hatton wasn't good enough!

*Ahem*

Yesterday I was having a heated debate with one of my friends. I was trying to convince him that Pacman was the best pound-for-pound fighter around but he wasn't having any of it. I even said he was going to get knocked down in the second but I didn't think he'd be down twice in that time. The only reason Hatton has had much success over his 12 year career is because he knows how to take a hit. His offensive game is all over the shop. Before you all jump on me, let's take a look at the stats (they don't call me Statto for nothing...):

The Filipino landed 73 blows to Hatton's 18, 65 of them power punches, while Hatton only landed with two jabs.

Sauce

Maybe it's time for the Hitman to hang up his gloves?

Jambo out.

Firstly...

2009-05-02T18:47:00.003+01:00

I'm going to apologise for neglecting this blog. It's been about 7 weeks since the last update but I assure you there is a really good reason for this: I'm Hella busy. Seriously. It's almost unreal.

The documentary (now entitled 'The Future of News' is coming along really well. The last couple of days filming have made me really proud both of my production team and of my own development as a cameraman. We did a piece to camera (PtC hereon) and I got to be really artsy with some close-up camera shots. I did a rack focus on an extreme closeup of the Macbook keyboard and got this really cool shimmer effect as a result. I love it when you're just messing around with settings and features and you end up filming something that looks really cool. Our last interview was with one of the lecturers at Uni and we did shot on location at the beach. After filming we took the tapes back to the Uni and played them back on the big screen. It was my first time working with the fig rig in an interview format but the team and I were pleased with the result. The background was stunning; it looked like the clouds had been painted on! This whole project has made me realise just how far I've come in the three years.

This weekend is the first time in ages that I'm not having to rush around with scripts, working on essays, or having commitments to other people. So, seeing as I had three days off (including the Bank Holiday Monday) I thought I'd have a selfish weekend. I've got over a month's worth of television to catch up on so I'm gonna get a takeaway pizza tonight, get some beer in and just park myself in front of the TV in an orgy of Bones, 24, Heroes, and - naturally - some Call of Duty 4.

Got my student loan in last week so I spent today duly spending as much of it as I could! Went on the footlocker website and bought some sweat pants, an Adidas original hoodie, and these bad boys:

I was torn between those and the footlocker exclusive iRobot padded collar Converse Allstars:

I'm happy with my choice but I reckon by Tuesday I'll have probably bought a pair of the above as well.

Took stock of a couple of deliveries this week too. My copy of #9 of Robert Kirkman's seminal zombie masterpiece 'The Walking Dead'. I haven't started reading it yet but after the cliffhanger #8 ended on I cant wait to see what's going to happen to poor ol' Rick next! Along with this, I was also pleasantly surprised to see my Michael Moore collection show up. The DVD box set contains his three major works: Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11, and Sicko. It's been a long time since I saw BfC but I can appreciate good auteurship when I see it and look forward to watching the other two.

On Friday evening I went and chilled with Ahsan in town. We grabbed a Nando's (I was fast-tracked to getting Extra Hot chicken - delicious !!) and saw Observe and Report. The Jambo low down: Probably not worth seeing. Wasn't funny enough to warrant the price tag.

Jambo out.

Getting sleepy

2009-03-13T03:51:00.003Z

It's 4am. General sale tickets for the Michael Jackson gigs at the O2 Arena in London go on sale in 3 hours time. In two hours and 58 minutes I will be F5'ing the living crap out of the ticketmaster website in the hope of acquiring 4 of these golden tickets.

Last time I was at the O2 was two years ago when I saw Prince and it was a helluva show. You know you're in for a good night when his opening gambit is Purple Rain!

Anyway, I'm deviating from the point somewhat. 3 hours left to stay awake. I'll be lucky if I stay awa... *yaaaaaaaaaaawn* that lo... *zzz*

Jambo... Zzz

Okay

2009-03-11T00:24:00.002Z

I've finished gallivanting so now I can buckle down and get on with this diet properly.

My current meal regime consists of me starving throughout the day and then having a giant meal in the evening. This is terrible as it is slowing my metabolism down like crazy. So, the new plan consists of me eating 3 square meals a day, hoiking my metabolism up in the process. Naturally, I'll be careful about what I eat (Tuna salads and fish on toast will be the order of the day, I imagine). Added to this will be regular exercise - a concept I have been unfamiliar with for some 5-6 years.

Wish me luck!

Jambo out.

...

2009-03-06T15:50:00.002Z

Okay, that was a failed attempt at a diet. Had a friend round the other night, ate pizza and watched Bones. Tonight I'm off out to see Watchmen and then to a couple of clubs. Bah! I'll consider it postponed until Saturday.

D-Day tomorrow

2009-03-01T23:24:00.002Z

But it's got nothing to do with Normandy, no, the 'D' this time stands for 'diet'. Over the last three years I've piled on the pounds and my confidence has gone so I've decided, rather lately, that I need to do something about it. I'm currently around 250lbs and ideally want to get down to around 190 before I head off on my World travels circa late 2009/early 2010. It's going to be a tough ask but I reckon if I can try to lose a couple of pounds a week then it should be alright.

I'll be using this blog to keep track of my hopeful progress - a weekly or monthly weight update with a few blogs in between detailing what I'm eating/doing. This is more for my benefit than anyone else's but it could be informative (or entertaining) for some readers.

I've done very little exercise since I was 18 and playing football everyday for an hour or so so my fitness is terrible. I'm going to start off slowly with a brisk walk for the first week or two and then try and build that up to a slow jog. I'll try and get out for a minimum of 30 minutes a day.

Food wise, I'm probably going to be living off salads - mainly the Tuna variety. I've had my 'last meal' today, a pizza from the magnificent folks at Manhattan Pizza here in Newcastle (Meaty Treat flavour, don't you know) and am fully committed to the cause.

I think one of my main problems is my Coca Cola consumption. I can quite happily drink a two litre bottle each night so that habit is going to have to go out the window. I'll replace this with water and 100% orange juice with no added sugar or preservatives.

Well, wish me luck! I'll keep you informed on how it goes.

Jambo out.

My humblest...

2009-02-27T02:24:00.009Z

... and most heartfelt apologies for not keeping you fine folk up to date on my humdrum existence, but, in my defence, I have been rather busy. You see, this last week I've been filming for a documentary down in London and have been mingling with the delightful men and women folk at Sky and the BBC news departments. Wake up was around 06:30am each day and we did not get back to the hotel I booked (which I'm told was in the roughest part of London) till late on so I've been swamped with travelling and work. Anyway, that's the excuses out of the way.

I've been learning -and re-learning in some cases - a few new magic tricks; mainly card ones. For those interested you can see them on my YouTube page (which I will eventually get round to adding to the list of websites on the right).

You may recall I blogged not so long ago on my late night spending sprees in ASDA... Well, this one took the biscuit: An HDTV. In my defense, I've had a 28" behemoth CRT in my room for the last God knows how many years so I was in need of a change and, Hell, there's no harm in future-proofing is there. Here is the gorgeous beast:

I have owned a 32" Samsung HDTV for a couple of years now and have been over the Moon with it so when I saw this sleek little number for £200 I just couldn't say no. The money for the documentary came through too so if anyone asks, this is for research purposes, you catch my drift? *nudge nudge, wink wink*

Currently looking at buying a 120GB iPod classic as my music collection now overwhelms my poor little 30GB iPod Video. It has served me very well but its time has passed and I must move on. I shall give the ol' Video one to my parents who have been toying with the idea of getting a big MP3 player for themselves. Now, what to get engraved on the back...? If the engraving is free from Apple then you bet your arse I'll want to take advantage of it!

Anyway, I think that's all for now.

Jambo out.

My two penneth... Or rather 10 pence...

2009-02-12T23:24:00.003Z

Another little video for you - this time it's a simple coin trick. You will have to forgive me, I am still getting used to using iMovie so this is the best I can do right now. I promise to be more adventurous and exciting in the coming weeks.

Jambo out.

A little video

2009-02-11T16:46:00.002Z

I promised some video content a while back and this is all I have so far but I'm hoping for it to be the first of, well, not many but certainly a few!

Jambo out.

White goods

2009-02-08T00:33:00.004Z

I don't know what it is about doing my shopping between 12am-4am but I do it every time. Maybe it's the fact that it is far less busy. Or maybe it's because I enjoy late-night driving. Whatever the reason, I do it. Regularly. I get lambasted by others who suggest going at a more reasonable time; however, I am a night owl so this is a more natural time for me to be doing the grocery shopping.

Back on point, I love shopping in the wee hours of the morning. One thing I love to do is to wander around the white goods aisles and see how much things cost. I look at all of these things on display and I think: "I don't have one of these... But for only £'x' I can't afford not to! What will happen when I want 'y' and I don't have the means to get it?!". I'll keep an eye on the prices and if an item drops by even the most minuscule of amounts I feel compelled to buy it. This has happened many times in the last few years but the latest two late night white goods purchases I am very fond of.

The first was a coffee machine which cost £7. £7 for a coffee machine! Madness! It works very well, uses a filter basket which means no money is squandered on filter paper and more precious pennies can go on getting some lovely coffee instead! It's a sleek little black number too so it sits proudly next to the toaster tempting me with its curves and promises of instant gratification.

The second is an item I bought today: An upright bagless vacuum cleaner. At £36 it's up there with some of my more expensive frivolities (along with a 5.1 surround sound set-up and a convector heater) but it is already paying dividends. Now, I share a flat with an old friend of mine and our old vacuum cleaner was appalling - a truly ghastly contraption seemingly intent on ripping up carpet and spewing the remains all over the place like a Terrier pup. The new model though has all of the attachments one would expect with a present day debris sucker, something our old mutt never had, and makes cleaning troublesome areas such as behind sofas and under tables far more agreeable.

The reason I bring these two contraptions ups is because these are the only two that have required assembling by my good self. The coffee machine was simple enough but the putting together the vacuum cleaner was far more taxing. Almost two hours passed before I was able to even fit the cylindrical chamber to the blasted thing. Now, thankfully, it is all set up and ready, raring to go when called upon. The whole ordeal has really made me realise: Vacuums suck.

Jambo out.

Let's get nerdy for a moment

2009-02-04T00:30:00.005Z

I've just had what can only be described as the greatest game of Halo 3 ever! Now, I don't want people assuming things about my character so I'm going to come out and say it: I'm a massive nerd. But, I don't want to flaunt it in someone's face, so this will probably be the only time that videogames get mentioned on here - the place for discussing games is usually a forum not a blog. Anyway, back to the game!

I'm currently involved in a Halo Tournament (please don't judge me) over at TGN as part of some sort of gaming equivalent of the Olympics. My flatmate and I entered with high hopes and we won our first game, dare I say it, fairly convincingly. The match tonight, however, was incredibly close. I'll let you see for yourselves:

The match started off badly for Team Blue and just seemed to get worse. We were always just about hanging in and we managed to kill ourselves a couple of times; however, after some clever use of wits and cunnings, we managed to somehow bring it back to 49 - 49. eMatt and I were hiding in the main base next to the lift deciding our next move. Suddenly, my partner in crime spots some movement and pokes his head out for a clearer view. I kindly remind him that the sniper rifle was in their possession and he retreated back round the corner, a bullet whizzing, neigh, skimming the peak of his helmet. We hang back a bit until I see some movement on the radar: "They're right below us!" I yell. I heroicly leap down, giant hammer in hand, and realise that I've stupidly hurled myself in between my two enemies. I notice on the radar that the enemy closer to my back is more of a danger and fling myself round and flail the hammer madly at the encroaching red target. Game over. We won. 50-49. I allowed myself to jump to my feet and let out a battle cry: "YYYAAAAAAWRRR!" A manly hug with my flatmate and fellow Blue-Team-Brother and we sit back down with a celebratory bottle of Grolsch, knowing our work had been done. It was an epic moment and is definitely up there with my favourite Xbox LIVE moments.

Jambo out.

Clarity begins at home

2009-02-01T04:35:00.006Z

I've had a couple of messages from people who are confused about the whole Twitter thing. A lot of the queries stem from roughly the same point: Why have a Twitter account and a blog? Well, in the simplest terms, the blog is to elaborate on my thoughts and offer pearly pieces of bonafide wisdom while the Twitter account is to tell the world what I'm doing/thinking at that moment in time.

Twitter is what is referred to by techy types as micro-blogging:

Microblogging is a web service that allows the subscriber to broadcast short messages to other subscribers of the service. Microposts can be made public on a Web site and/or distributed to a private group of subscribers.

- TechTarget.com

I've nearly always got my mobile on my person so if something tickles my fancy (as the actress said to the bishop) I can post it instantly on Twitter and if I deem it worthy of extended prose then I will elaborate further on this here Blog. Hopefully this tidies things up.

Speaking of tidying up, I've got a whole load of tidying ahead of me today. The bedroom is in dire need of attention and the bathroom and kitchen are so grotty I've been showering and eating elsewhere for fear of catching something from the toilet seat or cutting board!

I was experimenting with other forms of delivering blogs earlier on. I've dabbled in podcasts before and had a fairly successful show that featured on iTunes. However, it is video blogs that have been catching my eye for some time. Watch this space, Internet folk - watch this space...

Jambo out.

Here's... Jonny!

2009-01-31T20:00:00.004Z

Yes, I'm back from Manchester. For those who have been following my Twittering, you'll know that I've been having a good time. It was great to see Stephen again and even better to be doing the normal kind of stuff we get up to in Newcastle - DVD/game fossicking, beer ingesting, and watching action films. This time, the action film of choice was Demolition Man featuring Sly Stallone and Wesley Snipes. If you like your films to consist of one-liners, large explosions, and gunplay then this is the film for you. Not quite in the same league as the seminal Die Hard, but not far away.

The drive down to Manchester was quite fun. Well, as fun as a four hour drive can be. After reaching the A69 mist suddenly descended and my view was thoroughly obscured. Still, it made the whole ordeal more interesting with the possibility of death at every junction.

The drive back, however, was magnificent. I set off just after midnight so it was pitch black, my Sat Nav refused to work so I was forced to use my own wits, and, let me tell you, it was fantastic. I've always enjoyed driving at night but bursting down motorways with no light other than your own with no other soul on the road is a fantastic feeling. The route back from Carlisle was particularly exciting as there are no cats-eyes to help you see where you are going!

I'll leave you with this piece of 80s history:

Jambo out.

I know, I know...

2009-01-27T23:02:00.004Z

You're all positively aghast at the vast changes that have warped the very layout of this blog. But, chin up - it's now far easier to navigate, the décor is as wondrous as ever, and the whole place has a more pleasant feel to it, a certain je ne sais quoi, don't you think?

Jambo out.

Couple of changes...

2009-01-27T19:02:00.007Z

Still sorting out the website and trying to configure it the way I want it. Had a good day today; met up with my homeboy Ahsan and had a wander around town for a bit before grabbing a coffee at Starbucks (my first time in Starbucks!) and then heading back. It was cool to catch up with him as for the last six months I've been buried in books for my degree but now I've got no scheduled classes it looks like I can start hanging out with my friends more.

I've got a real itch to play poker. I've been toying with the idea of starting to play online for money but there are a few problems I see:

1/ I'm broke and can't really afford to frivilously throw away money
2/ I'm not that great at poker; I've played a few times against friends but online there are certain things missing such as being able to read player's faces.

Still... I'll have another look at the bank balance and see if I can convince myself that if all goes to plan I'll end up with even more money.

Not much to report really. Driving down to Manchester to see Newcastle play Manchester City and also to drop off a 32" TV for my friend who's down there for Uni. Should be good fun.

Jambo out.

Oh! Forgot to mention, I remembered my Twitter log-in details the other day so follow the link on the left and you can see what I get up to.

So...

2009-01-23T00:39:00.000Z

Blogging, eh? Who would want to read about someone else's banal ennui laden life?

Obviously people like you. I'm gonna be using this blog to document stuff that's important to me: Football, TV, movies, videogames, and music. I'll also probably be talking about stuff I find and like online or on streets. I'll try and make this as interesting as possible so there'll be loads of links, flashing images and bright colours to keep your attention.

Jambo out.