Fizzy Pop League

Well, today marked the end of Newcastle United's 16 year stint in the top tier of English football. To be honest, I'm extremely glad to see the back of this campaign - a season that has seen five different managerial set-ups, fans staging full-scale protests outside of SJP demanding that Mike Ashley and Dennis Wise kindly **** off, a heart attack rendering our interim manager useless, players being sold behind Kevin Keegan's back, all the money being spent on expensive foreign kids who didn't even get a run out for the first team, and players who are too old picking up their last big pay packet before they quietly fade out of people's memories.

This has arguably been the worst day of my Toon supporting life. It wasn't so much the fact that we got relegated, Hell, we deserved it after the way we 'contested' the other 37 games this season, no, it's the fact that the players genuinely didn't look like they gave a **** whether we stayed up or not. Quite frankly there's too much dead wood at this club. It's like these surplus players and the board are a parasite on the club, slowly draining away money and support, driving fans away with their blood-sucking actions. I honestly can't say I've despised anyone involved with Newcastle United as much as I hate Mike Ashley. His decisions have single-handedly cost us our place in the English elite. Now we have to endure the humiliation of relegation, the demoralisation of seeing "top clubs" such as Hull, Wolves, and Birmingham circle our club like the vultures they are and pick off players we need to guarantee a speedy return. They're welcoem to players like Owen, Geremi, Caçapa, Smith, Ameobi, and Coloccini - they can on frees for all I care. But losing players like Martins. Jonas. Steven Taylor. Bassong. Beye. These are players who really busted a gut for the club. These are the players I feel for.

I'm hoping Alan Shearer stays on - he will take no **** from Ashley and will motivate the players a whole load more than Kinnear or Hughton ever could. I hope we can keep a few of our players such as Guthrie, Enrique, Carroll - youngsters who still have a lot to learn but give it their all each game.

Oh well. Here are the important bits of 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. If everyone involved in Newcastle United can keep these words in mind for the next year, I think we'll do alright.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

At least we'll have a chance of winning something next year...

On the cusp

Well, this weekend signals the end of the 2008/9 Premier League campaign and could also signal the end of Newcastle United's thrill-a-minute 16 year tenure in the top flight of English football. Now, I'm a Geordie through and through - if you cut me I'll bleed black and white (I should really see a doctor about that...) - so naturally it would devastate me if the Mags were to be relegated this Sunday. However... It could also be a blessing in disguise. I no longer dread the ultimate day, I look forward to it. Either the club stay up another year and make big money changes or we drop down to a league where we have an excellent chance of bouncing straight back up and the opportunity to get rid of some of the dead wood clogging up resources.

Now, all three of the North East clubs are facing relegation. With Middlesbrough all but gone, it is up to Newcastle and Sunderland to scrap it out for local bragging rights. It is strange to see a club that 10 years ago was finishing consistently in the top 5 each year and putting on spectacular European shows in the UEFA Cup and Champions League now on the brink of relegation.

The last few seasons since the departure of Sir Bobby Robson have been miserable. Nobody has come in and motivated the players quite like he did until just recently with the appointment of Alan Shearer. There have also been far too many managerial shake-ups and off the field distractions - it would be an understatement to say that Newcastle have become a bit of a joke club to many outside observers. But for those of us who follow the club, who live and breathe every minute of it, it is far from a joke. If things stay as they currently are, with Shearer in charge, the much maligned continental management system sidelined, and the players playing with a bit of self-belief, I've got every reason to believe that the future of NUFC isn't looking too bad at all, regardless of whether we go down this Sunday or not. No matter what the result, fans will always pack the stadium, fans will always cheer their team, and the sea of black and white shirts will be flowing as hard as ever before.

I'll leave you now with an exert my favourite poem - Rudyard Kipling's seminal 'If' - which I feel sums up the situation quite nicely:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

Jambo out.